2016/9/22 Autumn Equinox.

 About Paris ,

A dirty B&B .

So dirty one wants to pull up the disgusting carpets

& paint,

rip off the pealing wallpaper,

redo the failing electrics…

or just move out.


millions live in conditions like this

or one hundred times worse.


Some thoughts of God.

Obviously, not a person in the sky.

Obviously, a vibration of consciousness

that is all consuming.

Obviously not conjured up by a mind

connecting to the heart of earth

or the source of consciousness

Obviously, a gift of grace.

Witnessed connection in silent attention

Unhindered by thoughts of anything

Unhindered by body,

by emotion ,

by mind


But ecstatic,




About the Autumn Equinox

A time of equal day and night

A portal?

To what?

A collective

international intention for peace?

Focused, collective consciousness.

Knowing we are all one.


Experiencing the oneness of consciousness,

An opportunity for change.

From Virgo cleansing and purifying

To Libran balance,

and relationship.


About this one and her life…

Opportunity to grow and change,

Every moment

In every way

Supported by friends around the world

Supported by grace

Blessed by intelligence and rites of birth.

A time

to be a healing presence in a wider world.

A time

to open .

Crossing the threshold into inner growth and listening

Not casting the eye backwards

To the spring and summer of cavorting extrovertion,

Not anticipating,

what winter delights have yet to be revealed.


Just being ,



Tourist in Paris.

Witness to the world



Light a candle for sanity! Clarity about who and what we are, on what it means to be human. A teaching from the ether of the ecliptic window of 16/10/2016


There is a massive confusion in Christian, Muslim and some Buddhist and other countries, between the teacher and the teachings.

This is amplified by the needs of patriarchy, which has instituted a system of near slavery throughout the world.

Any teaching that begins to expose the lies of the systems we live under is systematically suppressed or tarnished with disrespect distortion and slurs.

Personal accountability is masked by defensive denial of truth because of individual’s needs to appear competent, and their fears of loosing the financial security of their posts.

Thus lies and misinformation are perpetuated, much like the “emperors new clothes.”

Once we begin to unmask true and common sense teaching and free ourselves from financial fear, it is like a veil dissolving.

We can begin to appreciate that there is extensive teaching suggesting we should practice harmlessness, love and respect for one another and that we should encourage and support diversity and equal human rights to opportunity.

There is no benefit to anyone from having societal systems that oppress or exploit others: this includes societies who practice cultural norms that oppress men or women by denying them access to freedom of thought or freedom of choice.

Once we begin to honour teachings of, treating each other with harmlessness, truth, kindness and respect for other people, things begin to change in our lives.

As we support systems of mass stupidity or slavery so we distort the fundamental birthright of what it means to be human and become contaminated by the false consciousness that has pervaded our planet for all living memory

As we support common sense and freedom from fear, we may honour and respect the teachers who have pointed the way; but to worship them, instead of honouring and promoting the teaching, is to miss the point. It skews the mind, causing confusion and illusion.

Attitudes of love and devotion towards intelligent talented teachers are worthy qualities, but not if they take us to a place where we start to deny our own humanity or if we cease to practice love and kindness to each other, or cease promoting freedoms and exposure of truth.

This is a time for realisation of these fundamental truths. It is a matter of human survival. It will be too late for realisation once as a human species we have destroyed the health of the planet we live on.

Do we let a toddler destroy the house we live in or the source of our health and prosperity? Of course we do not. In the same way we have to take charge now of managing the environment of the earth, so that it is energetically vital and non-polluted by our waste and our ignorance.

As a society we have to make common sense decisions about technology and future investment that reverse the tide of ignorance and deceit that have dominated our ideology and politics for the last two thousand years and beyond. Our decisions have to put the physical health of the planet before, personal greed, economic or political relations between countries.

We have to promote a consciousness of wellbeing and diversity that begins to breakdown traditional borders and promotes common sense and ecological and economic health.

When you read the above, pause between paragraphs and let the meaning sink in to the depths of your own life and situation.

Consider how this applies to you and your situation and if there are steps you can take to support honesty and truth whether that be in politics or in your relationships with others.

Let the next year be a time of moving towards societal and individual sanity, and walking our talk in our actions and words.

(53) Ammaprema Grace

via (53) Ammaprema Grace.

Separation, Connection, & Finding your tribe.

Suddenly there is warmth, love, connection –a feeling of belonging….”  I have remembered my tribe…my lineage, my connection with oneness and it is not a religion or a cult but it is extra-ordinary and words don’t really do it justice…”

The everyday world with its mass of technology & things to do, & achieve can leave us lost and feeling alone……..isolated in a sea of people, busyness and technology, feeling a failure, feeling lost, feeling different and separate.

Most commonly I feel this when I am alone in cities, but sometimes the black dog of depression creeps through the grey and the rain, when I am alone, in my paradise of a home in distant Devon.

Then I turn to far flung friends…seeking out a voice at the end of the telephone, to comfort, or remind me I am loved, heard, appreciated.

Or I turn to meditation, music, chanting mantras to still the monkey mind …… Or I move….. go out to the pool or the moor, swim, yoga posture and get the energy moving…….. But it does not always work. They are activity sticking plasters, signposts back….

Recently I have gone through such a few days.

Then three things happened.

My telephone connections (thank you Gay) reminded me of a process to try with myself. ….Feeding your demons with Tsultrim Allione.


I did the practice and end by dissolving my body in compassion for my demons and find the new allies in my previous demons! (This is a brilliant practice.)

That was a sticking plaster and a signpost and the first thing.



I joined a trip to visit St Nectans Glen https://www.facebook.com/groups/14966270178/

with Gailelaine, an inspiring Angelic Crystal harpist & medium. https://www.facebook.com/gailelaine.angeleyes?fref=ts & some friends.


Its an amazing thing to stand in a rainy forest full of devas….its too wet to sit down!

Ethereal mist

The small of dampness,

The sound of the stream endlessly

Interspersed with raindrops

dripping from shiny leaves.

Trees observing through spy holes

Reveal fairy villages in clumps of tiny plants

And in moss, growing up the trunks,


Mud squelching beneath my footsteps


The group approaches chattering

Barely aware of the fairy wild-er-ness

University of life

Suddenly we are a pilgrim group walking in each others footsteps

Attention to the human

The slippery slate underfoot

as we climb well-trodden pathways

highways through the forest.

Pausing only to connect with guardians

Seeking permission to pass into that otherworld

A breath away.


Waterfalls capture the light and attention as we pass by

Cameras at the ready,

Observers of nature,

communion of company

Reveling in the smells, the sounds the light,

Shakti, Prana refreshing


Refreshed by kind hosts

We approach the waterfall

Famous for its orbs, Its visions, its beauty.


We wade in sparkly river

Crashing from above

It silences us

In its awesome wonder

Presence personified





We do that human thing of finding stones …

Bridging worlds in our aloneness

This time to cast with our dreams and missions into its fiery hole

Where mystical deity

Awaits our homage, our service, our devotion


Photographed (with orbs) we move on to hot soup and warm bread

Hot chocolate, steaming cups of tea

Chattering like starlings released from separation

A tribe of strangers united in the wonders of nature

Appreciated together

We separate

…… Until we meet again in other guises.


That was another signpost and an activation

and the second thing.



My house let releasing me from penury,



I started to hone down my winter pilgrimage

Should I go to New Zealand as I had convinced myself I needed to do to while away the winter blues in southern hemisphere sunshine….

My heart was not in it.

Should I go to Lesvos and help with migrant arrivals, my heart was not in it…it was driven by guilt… a false compassion, not my path at this time

Or Sri lanka where 84000 widows of a horrible war have lost hope…. Not my path at this time.


Should I go to India again ,and revisit the places of my teacher, the land of the masters, Rishikesh magic, Arunachala awesomeness with dear friends and spiritual family….. its still attracting……Harmony through tribe

But do I need another group pilgrimage… family, interspersed with deep mountain magic & early morning meditations, maybe… not dismissed but is it moving my heart?

Then I got it ….. This was the third thing…


My heart wants to swim with whales and dolphins. They have been calling me for so long….

Hawaii……really ? Hawaii? Really….



So I researched the websites and the dates

(Thank God for the Internet….. God? who is God?)

I saw a video…. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zq11b9zwYfQ



Hyper-dimensional Geometry

Ultra sonic wave-form harmonic

Amplituhedrous Field

‪(Jean-Luc Bozzoli )


It’s a whole new language of sound and light,

of being human …

I have come home to myself

My whale-self…..


I look around me with different eyes

remembering my “Mad” friends…

the hippies with bright eyes who sing

round camp –fires

and make weird sounds…

normal people find a bit odd….

Each one of them has met the dolphins or the whales…..

On the inner or the outer


The maddest ones,

the sound ones (ha ha) singing

languages no-one in the business world can understand….

The passionate ecologists,grasping at straws, and petitions, and marches,rushing to save the planet and more importantly, to save the whales and the underwater interdependent eco-systems.

You see

how I become that without the punctuation of spaces as,

I flow

into that apparently mad world of desperation

as we seek…we all seek



to refind the flow,

to find our tribe of oneness.


Hooray I am home

I am free

We all are





What makes our heart sing…..



Ref: Biological Infrasound

(from http://www.joanocean.com/sasquatch.html )


From the Wise Ones, I have learned about the unique characteristics of Infrasound. This is a sound that can affect us emotionally, mentally, physically – vibrating internal organs, and multi-dimensionally.

Dolphins and whales use it along with some animals, such as giraffes, lions, elephants, and others to communicate and/or to stun or paralyze prey. Infrasound can be used to communicate over thousands of miles.

These infrasonic waves are sound waves so low in frequency that the human ear cannot detect them.

Human ears detect sounds in the frequency range of about 20 to 20,000 Hertz (cycles per second.)

Anything below 20 Hz is defined as infrasound, which although not heard, is experienced in the form of pure vibrations.


Webster’s dictionary defines infrasound as

“1: having or relating to a frequency below the audibility range of the human ear.

2: utilizing or produced by infrasonic waves or vibrations.”


These waves can be produced spiritually

by people who are trained to do this.

It is called Biological Infrasound.

I believe that in our progress of evolution,

we are on a track to learn this ability.

The dolphins and whales have shown me this.

The Wise Ones have already learned it and they use it non-aggressively as a safety measure for themselves

and humans who unknowingly trespass in areas that are unsafe. (not from Sasquatch, but wild animals and sometimes entities that could be harmful to humans.)



Amma, Gurus and retreats Nov 2015

A weekend on retreat with Guru Dev, Padma and friends, & then with Beloved Ammaji in London Nov 2015.

It’s a strange life living with Gurus. You cannot write it…people would not believe ……

This last week I have followed my heart to an earthly reconnection; first through a weekend retreat with my soul family of Integral Yoga on our annual Samhein retreat at Cleeve house in Wiltshire; and secondly with Beloved Ammaji.

A week that might actually have been a lifetime or several ….. last week seems so long ago.

With Gurus the impossible becomes possible, a flow emerges, a flow of service and joy. As attention wakes up to waking down to the earth and what needs attention from human beings, from us, from each one of us a different life emerges…….

This is the blessing of sangha, one’s soul family coming together lovingly with attention to the Divine in each one, Meditation & Yoga to train the mind, body & emotions to flow from the heart and to listen, pay attention to Love: Relaxation, Sound travelling, Bhajans & singing to open to the inner journey of soul reconnection, soul remembering and oneness with Divine Presence. It changes you into a nicer and very busy but very relaxed person.

People seem surprised by the busy-ness of my life flowing from event to event, sounding my Gong, reconnecting people with Source…….but there is so much to do, and why not do it? Someone has to ….. actually we all have to……..

That really is Amma’s message, “endless selfless service is essential, giving whatever one can give, tirelessly, joyfully, pushing through the mainly self imposed barriers of habit and conditioning ,………. the earth is in chaos, people are living in chaos with no boundaries with their children or on corporate greed, craziness in their jobs, as anxious managers impose on anxious staff, ill thought through reforms that cost massively in the long term, and create short term madness; illusions of time limitations, massive exploitation , starvation, homelessness which we ignore it at our peril.

Self protection forces us into boxes of self imposed limitations, self driven concerns and outcomes, distractions and an endless satisfaction of transient desires.”

Action, – with inner guidance, & the support of a magical guru teacher; impacts and is helpful in the world; indeed it is essential.

Gurus are not really about sitting on platforms with devotees bowing down , although what that teaches the mind is the value of surrender to Love. Real Gurus are about Love and Service. They serve selflessly…..who in their right mind wants to hug 4000 people a day, or listen endlessly to needy requests from people fraught with guilt and anxiety, trauma and pain? They do it to serve all of us…to show us how we can live more harmoniously with ourselves and the earth. Their service is to us, to help us be the best we can be, and helping us to rise above the mundane preoccupations of the mind and the “little self” into a wider world where there is so much to be done. They serve from a wider perception of the mechanics of how the universe operates karmically impacting from lifetime to lifetime, and a clear understanding that we all create our own reality & destinies, through our perceptions, our viewpoints, endless thoughts and desires. Their message is common through all the major master teachers and religions:

Group meditation and group service can change the world…. The world is not as we see it…. change our perception and realize that as human beings, we can make a profound impact and she –Ammaji , the Guru , the Mother , Divine Presence, will help…with the right connections, with the right magical intervention .

Amma is actually superhuman, impossible, magical, inspirational, tricky……… an emanation of Kali , setting unusual puzzles for the mind to resolve for our soul’s growth where hopefully we settle the restless mind and can sit in heart………

Trying to describe the experience of Amma is impossible….. its like trying to describe all the subtle and not so subtle layers of India.

Ally Pally hums with the energy of endless sounds, carrying aspirations, energy and resolutions, winding up the Shakti, touching each heart impossibly. The Goddess works in mysterious ways…….

I meditate with her: breathing Ma-Om into the deepest heart place and am touched by the depth, the momentary flash of diamond- light blessing she imparts, as she connects soul to soul…… waves of bliss, indescribable bliss. A moment of eternal emptiness filled with eternal light, sustained in the sound current of massive meditation. A moment carved onto the timeline of soul-growth, inscribed forever in memory, the memory a mere reflection of the indescribable beauty of connection & interconnectedness.

In that moment we are all one, no distinction, no-one better than the other, all together a sea of consciousness, making a difference to the consciousness of humanity; in relationship with the magnificent hugeness of earth-bound, beyond earth consciousness. She shares the cosmic soup with Grace.

As she transcends the laws of human physique, physics, so we are each one moved into action beyond our little selves and the limitations we place on our possibilities.

I meet friends…….interestingly most of them the organisers, part of the great team behind this huge annual event at Alexandra Palace, each event just one microcosm of the huge number of events in Ammaji’s life. I offer service. I receive deep physical healing, I buy my Christmas gifts!………

India recreated in an unlikely venue…..

She takes people and uses them to their potential stretching them beyond human limits, supporting them on the inner planes and throwing up mirrors of their consciousness and the self-imposed limitations they put on themselves. Her Swami says…she keeps us busy….. we don’t sit down….

I first met Amma about the time I got the Gong 23 years ago. Then she was at Battersea Town hall surrounded with nice people in white. I did not understand, I did not really connect, my head was full of myself, my problems, my anxieties…..

How would I get home on time, how could I get “my “ darshan quick enough to make it home to my bed. She sent me away confused reflecting my chaos, …I thought, without making connection… but in fact it was that year I met Padma, with her picture of her Beloved, my Beloved Guru Dev Satchidananda….sitting under a tree, in Blissful contemplation….whilst actually inspiring an immense service of training yoga teachers… training people to become useful instruments for humanity, for the earth. He works deep at what appears to be a different pace….but actually not. Just contemplate Padma’s schedule or any of the Swami’s there is not much time for rest……

Until this year I have always thought Ammaji wanted me in Integral Yoga learning to be a yoga teacher…offering the sounds that have come to me to be shared, to help quicken that movement, those souls….. she does want me there sometimes, that is one of “my places,” one of “my families,” home of so many friends , each one a model of perfection….so many perfectionists modeling selfless service and a deeply peaceful meditative life.: a place for the learning of this soul.

But this year as human greed stretches humanity on the path to extinction… there is more….. so much more for us all to do…..

Meditating together in joyful sounds, is the core of the wake up that is waking down to take charge of our human interaction on the earth, maintaining and sustaining health and wellbeing, the birthright of the earth for our children and grandchildren.

It is an immense privilege to serve, to be called to serve.

The personal journey, a few impressions,:

I arrive to the mele of sound and spaciousness, the carcophany that is India at Ally Pally and am immediately drawn to the Seva table….. I offer a sitting service, – legs and weight prohibit too much standing around, later of course she laughs at my self-imposed limitations, offering me the standing service of marshalling people by the fire exit, as she leaves the hall some hours later, ironic – she has great humour in her play.

I must be doing something right, for as she sweeps down the red carpet to my little marshaled area, gatekeeping the doorway, she veers off the path straight at me, grasping my hand, as she blesses those standing in my section, her left hand touching the raised anxious waiting hands making use of my hand for physical support…not that she actually needs it… it is a blessing!

I seek to book a massage early on… I am resolved to share some of the fruits of my recent labours spending for her charities, I just love the win / win of what she creates, its part of my conditioned businesswoman’s heritage, & its part of the magical synchronicities she orchestrates; although I am still musing on the story/parable she shared of the woman with a peanut allergy sharing her peanuts with the taxi man – he asks “why do you buy peanuts that you cannot eat.” She says “I like the chocolate” he asks “what chocolate?” she replies Oh I suck that off first!…..…..

We in the west seem to find it impossible to give unconditionally, expecting nothing in return, like the woman in the story, so much of our giving is just a little tarnished by the selfish desire that comes with it. Its amazing we are so unconditionally loved. I hate it when we dish up Aid to foreign countries with all the ties of trade for the UK built in, but hey ho another little reflection on my conditioning to contemplate……

At lunchtime I receive a great acupressure rebalance which points me to more kidney and spleen support through homeopathy.

At tea time, I indulge in a deep reflexology that shifts stuck intestinal energetics and points me to a trauma I have somehow managed to ignore in my endless self searching…and lots of advice on food and weight loss….odd how people seem obsessed with projecting their worries about food and weight onto me…do they do it to Amma? I think not……… The treatment has kept me off sugar even in the face of a feast of cake for at least 2 days!

Then there is the leela of the darshan tickets…..always a leela![1] The ego needs that polishing I guess! This is how the story played……

My Buddhist friend from London arrives later than me & needs to leave early, so I swapped my ticket with her…. She ends up in the darshan queue making a great relationship with a buyer who can potentially help her project and the Integral Yoga Aum Sri Lankan project and is fascinated by Amma’s ability to magically connect people……I end up being stopped from “having the hug” until the evening where I end up at the front of the queue for one of the first darshans…that actually do not start until 10 pm…..

This does rather throw my carefully planned schedule of driving to Bristol so that when I finally exit the building minus my shawl that has mysteriously disappeared it is at 11.30 …my son in Bristol is not answering his phone and fear arises he will be in bed, …I will be locked out…. I will have to sleep in the car …no blanket! Just like all those homeless people I just asked for her to help, she shows me what it feels like to be out on the streets at night, shows me all my attachments and fears…in the gentlest of ways.

So being well supported fortunately I text three friends trying to find someone awake. Two respond immediately and I am soon on my way back to see my homeopathic for what turns out to be a necessary completion and chat until 3 am.

Oh and then there’s the Christmas shopping… mainly done now! All monies to Amma’s charities… Fantastic.

Fullness and blessings for Diwali…..and why did I leave & not return on the second day……because I am stupid! Why would anyone not want to spend every second of every day with such a great soul who blesses the UK by coming here every year.

Thank you Beloved Amma.

Thank you Blessed Sat Guru Swami Satchidananda, Thank you Padma

Ammaprema Grace


[1] Leela= A hindu cosmological concept denoting a cosmic imaginary play that happens in life . It is designed to help a student gain a refection of the projections in their lives and how they play out. To give an example : one brings an issue or a question to a Guru for resolution and shortly after one’s life begins to play out elements of the question, as a drama in ones life that provide one with the answer or help for the situation. It’s a bit like transference in counselling where the energetic imprint of the issues can be played out in the relationship between counseled and counsellor. In this context it is designed to help one realize how the mind acts in ones life and to help the process of dropping the mind and living in the heart.

Beloved Ammaji

Beloved Ammaji

Altar at retreat Sri Swami Satchidananda Ananda Mai Ma & Integral Yoga mandala

Altar at retreat
Sri Swami Satchidananda
Ananda Mai Ma & Integral Yoga mandala

Beloved Sri Swami Satchidananda

Beloved Sri Swami Satchidananda

Integral Yoga mandala . Truth is one Paths are many.

Integral Yoga mandala . Truth is one Paths are many.

Darshan= Darshan blessing is the way different spiritual teachers bless one. Amma does it with hugs and one has to get a darshan ticket to tell you roughly what time your hug will be. Mother Meera does it in groups with her eyes. Dalai Lama & many Buddhist Lamas do it through group teaching and blessings, or head to head, exchange of scarves, touching the head. Guru Dev Satchidananda created an organization of yoga teachers and a model ecological community where people can grow into healthy ways of living and visit his tomb /house for individual communication, sometimes strange things happen with his pictures! Some say it clears obstacles to spiritual growth.

Musing on Tantra and the Dance of Sexuality

Tantra of the sexes 9d63d4a78a657321dd197143b8fc775b

We assume “Consciousness” is sexless and an expression of oneness, we experience that in moments of bliss and surrender. But we live in the 3-D world of separation and division. Man needs woman and woman needs man.  I don’t want to go out digging holes, sorting out computer glitches or mending fences and I’m sure my soulmate may not be interested in shopping endlessly for beautiful clothes or handbags!

The energy of the earth embodies yang and yin aspects in sexual procreation, in the alchemy of Ether, Fire and Water, Earth and Air, sound and silence,touch and awareness. But we call her Mother Earth and talk of Father Sky.

Undoubtedly our planet of oneness, is a living cauldron of possibilities: embodying the dark and the light, the poisonous and the pure and all the shades of grey between. It has its cycles. Living in the temperate climates of Northern Europe we can conveniently observe movement, throughout the cycles of the seasons;-

  •  New shoots of new beginnings ideas & intents,
  • the flowering and abundant fruitfulness or the manifestation of creation, celebrating the full expression of being,
  • the time of completion, letting go and ultimate death,
  • and the silent stillness that moves inwards and is the ground of emptiness that cradles seeds.

Women’s mysteries have talked about the Cycles of Maiden, Mother, Crone, Dark Goddess honouring the birth and death cycles within us all. Within that framework Male energy is the spark of kundalini that ignites movement, growth and change, the light of the Sun without which the earth would die. As one internalises these realisations one realises how healthy growth embodies and honours this cycle of birth, manifestation, completion and rebirth, in nature and even in how we design a project or an essay.

is this how it is – or is there a Father and Mother Earth, a Mother and Father Sky?

A beautiful male friend recently shared his experience on the inner planes of Mother and Father Earth. I was struck by how much we need that archetype to be acknowledged and manifested. We so need all men to identify with the earth and to look after and protect it, rather than expressing a greed and exploitation paradigm through corporate ignorance and domination. Those men should not be seen as mad activists who sit in at trees, but as caring gardeners of creation, guided by an inner balance that embodies attention and common sense realisation, and that uses a balanced female archetypal approach to life.

To expand on this idea of male- female archetypes as we are functioning in this world of separation : A few weeks ago I was reading Tricia McCannon’s new book -Return of the Divine Sophia,  ( http://tm2012.triciamccannonspeaks.com/book-return-of-the-divine-sophia ) . I  was reminded to look at my yin/yang, masculine /feminine traits. I began to look at the positive male and female qualities in myself (p185-7).

Although I wasn’t too clear about her definitions of the archetypes (- as some could be for both): I made my lists  & I realised that I embodied lots of positive female qualities (loving, kind, creative, wise, intuitive, inspiring,  inclusive, loving beautiful things, healthy sexuality etc.)

I generally avoided the more negative feminine manifestations, (using wiles and sexual manipulation, jealousy, deception, lying, sexual siren, victimised, selfish, shallow  frivolous, needy, greedy, etc.)

I found I was a bit short on the positive male virtues: ( Empowered within self, moving from inner centre rather than a place of absolute power, supportive, protective, working from vision & inclusion, giving & receiving, leadership with listening, not run by ego, desire or sexual appetites,  etc. )

My inner male tended towards unhealthy “male” stereotyped actions; (competing, achievement of goals not set by own inner centre, aggressive, criticising, conquering, controlling, dominating, taking things for granted, monopolising, selfish, not caring for health and wellbeing, unbridled growth, laziness etc).

As you read this I am sure that we could argue for ever if some of these traits exactly fit into Male or Female archetypes /Yin or Yang expressions but you get the picture.  Its an exercise that we can all perhaps revisit in a quest for a more balanced world. taking the time for self reflection, was a stimulant to consider my internalised polarities, and gave me an opportunity to consider them and to consider how I might want to change myself, and bring that change to everything.

Food for reflection perhaps; if my inner male and female can work together, maybe there is that chance for true tantra of man and woman, giving and receiving equally. i want to meet my inner soulmate and experience that ignition of positive creation, positive appreciation, completion and rebirth; don’t you?

The Cough – Curse of the winter of 2015

When one is well the tasks of mind take over. The to do list rules …we are well trained work slave robots. Eyes are open, mind is focussed on the task at hand, usually completing things necessary for survival or improving our state of mind/ wellbeing/ life quality/giving us our habitual little rewards, the pause with a cup of chai or fresh coffee/ our favourite tea, a special view / fantasy of sex or future.

Or we sleep and allow replenishment ,little pausing for the thought that even this we can no longer take for granted.

The cough is here.

The latest karma that in an instant, changes plans, flings us to a rubbish heap of other souls struggling for breath. A world dominated by lemon and honey, upright chairs, and desperation.

I close my eyes and am instantly in the mind screen of fourth dimensional playground. Anything is possible….. Off with the head oops oh no it’s back…..

I choose the tool of thought / forward planning, visualise the diary/ the meeting/ the journey / the timing, perhaps pause to pick a pen in open eyed world to note some details…. Get train times/ costs!

Closing again mind screen arrives, what is the next thing for its lens of focus?

It notices breath, slightly laboured/ pain in chest….. Hears body vibrations, noises…. A bit off kilter….

Feels the throat, roughened and rasping. Hey ho that cough again , doubling one up, more tissues please. Straightening up….more pillows/ support for aching back.

Reach for that homeopathised water. Brief relief of throat, concentration back, heart rate,  can fall, panic over… No breath, allowing some breath…… smorgasbord of creation palette back again.

Crisis averted, cost to energy 3 points… How many each day?

This cough is a long line of changing daily symptoms… A designer virus, amoxicillin just changing one’s consciousness, enough to believe it has control, while actually it is sitting out observing.

Everyone has had it… Yes everyone cos that’s what viruses do, they insidiously change population consciousness. God or Devil’s little helpers enforcing rest. Enabling questions like…. What caused this? What caused the air pollution? Enabling suppressed emotion, care, attention, good deeds, or ignoring, passing over, isolation…..

Was cough designed by evil bankers to wipe us out, or slow production? Or just a side effect of popular apathy that allowed corporations to pollute with radiation, complex waste in air or sea or earth, that profit could rule….

Just bad luck?

I close my eyes, I am only 1 breath from death. I fight for each one.

Others just hear me rasping.

“Bad cough!”


It’s coming for you next…….